Benis Reports: The Great Queso Debate

Installment Two: Aztecas


It was the best of times that became the worst of times. We were under the impression that Aztecas was a normal restaurant. Our mistake cost us dearly. We knew something was off when we were charged $5 for mandatory valet parking only to be told we had to park our own car. Apparently there had been some sort of incident. The exchange was all very confusing and involved much turning off and on of the car, and much window-rolling up and down. We just wanted some queso, but upon entering we were informed that it was happy hour. Pitchers of margaritas were only $15; What a bargain! Did we mention it was karaoke night? All of this being said, the queso was awesome.

Viscosity: Thick
Really, really thick. After ten minutes it was like Jif peanut butter. Perfect for sufficiently coating your chip on the first try.

Chunk-to-Cheese Ratio: All cheese, no chunk!
Only cheese here, my friends. On the menu there was an option to add pico de gallo. We politely declined and were overjoyed with what we got- a bowl o' cheese.

Drip Ratio: Very minimal
As I exclaimed in the notes I began taking after three or so margaritas, "This shit snaps back!" Even with our drunken voracity, no drips occurred.

We returned to Benis HQ that night a little worse for wear, only we didn't know it yet. We don't know why it happened, but we ended up with three videos of ourselves couch-dancing. Despite our embarrassment, we want to offer our lesson learned as a public service announcement. There are many morals to this story- the most important of which is: Aztecas is a rowdy bar first and a restaurant as a distant second. No matter how full you feel after drinking a pitcher of margaritas, food is still needed.